WHAT WILL I BE DOING IN MIDDLE AGE?
Chiew Chiaw Hui (69344)
To 40 years old Chiew Chiaw Hui
Hello Chiaw Hui in 40s!
How have u been? I hope u still remember this letter. I don’t know how are you now, whether you are already a successful mid age women who has reached financial freedom or you are still on the way chasing your dream or maybe dreams are too expensive for your current age? I literally have no idea how you will be now but I’m confident that you can get out from those setbacks to achieve whatever you want to achieve. You may feel tired and drained out but do remember that you have passed the darkest days in your life and no obstacles can stop you now. Take a deep breath, relax and focus on your target. No one’s life is a bed of roses and luck is only for those who are hard-working and diligent.
On the other hand, if you have already hit financial freedom and now you are no longer working for the money, are you remain productive or you are starting to be lazy and stop learning new skills? Please answer this question honestly, I don’t want you to cheat yourself. As what you have learned from psychology, human tend to be inactive when the drive is fulfilled. When this happens, you must need to set your new targets. I don’t want you to move out from your comfort zone completely but you should not let your productivity and growth end at this age. Try look for something you love and explore that deeply to become more knowledgeable. Remember we are already died(mentally) when we stop learning.
Well, I hope you don’t feel too stressful as I feel I have given very high expectation on you. I believe that you have your own plan and targets as you are more mature and thoughtful than I am. But I hope you can review this as your reflection to your own life. I also wonder how’s your family right now. Have you married and have kids already? How are your parents right now? Is your mother still like stop nag and watch movies? I think they may have more gray hairs and little health issues but hopefully they are still healthy and active. Lastly, I wish you all the best for your future and your family.
Regards,
Chiaw Hui in 20s
Jesynthia Wong anak Robert (69983)
To Jesynthia in 20 years to come,
This year (2020), I am turning 20 and 20 years later I will enter the phase of middle adulthood. Thinking how fast time goes by, it seems as if it would not be too long of a time. I was wondering how I would be by that time and what kind of life have I lived. In this activity, I am to consider what I would be doing in my middle adulthood in terms of health, career, roles, family, and personal topics.
In terms of health, I am doing quite well for now even though it might be that I am still young and not much health problems have occurred except for rare cases of gastritis. However, since I am not very active, it will be a disadvantage when I grow older. I might be vulnerable to hypertension and stamina issues which both due to my inactivity and genetics. Maybe it is time to pick up some sports and stay fit before it is too late. As I have my own income when I am a middle-aged adult, I would do health screening once a year to prevent unwanted diseases and make early diagnoses if there are issues. I have not had the chance to do any medical check-ups due to the expensive cost. I would also get a few health-related insurances, just in case.
As of career, I vision myself as a working registered counsellor since I am taking Counselling degree now. I am probably working in government sector or if I have an extra income, I would be opening my own clinic. I may be interests in doing some voluntary counselling when I have the time since I have always wanted to give back to the society in some ways. By this time, I might pick up several jobs, depending on my situation during that phase. Either I am picking up a job because of my hobby or to make ends meet. Maybe. Life is unpredictable after all.
By year 2040, I really wish to have my own family even though it still seems a little far away. I hope my spouse then is a good person. When my mother was 40 years old, I am already starting my secondary school life. Maybe when it is my turn as a 40 year-old, I will already have my own children. If I am married, I would love to have children even though I used to think of the commitment is quite frightening. When I am middle-aged, my parents will be older, and I would be their caretaker though I hope they get old slower and live a long life.
For now, everything seems vague and I am still in dilemma whether what I have been doing up until now is right. I see and experience a lot of things and I am sure that there is more to come when I am older. It feels like I fully utilise my eyes and see the world. There are sleepless nights and dawns where I would be anxious about what is to come and where would I be tomorrow. At this age, I am scared and unsure of everything, but I am sure I will understand them when the time comes. While I am trapped by my own thoughts about the future, I really wish to live my life with no regrets.
To you from 20 years later, are you doing well? Did you finally get a hang of this life? I have so many questions for you but it seems like you would not have the time to scrutinise every of it since those are the questions that I kept for 20 years of our life. Did you achieve the things that we have ‘planned’? Did you find the ‘happiness’ and meaning of life that we were desperately searching for?
You were so unsure about things, but you still went with it. You were so scared of strangers, are you still now? Do you still have the distrust in you towards everyone? Are you a better person now, compared to me right now who is shameful of her own wrongdoings? Maybe you have become better and is a great person, I hope.
If you are reading this now, I am proud of you and thank you for continuing our ‘plans’. Things may went differently as planned and it might be inevitable but that is the joy of living, right? To wake up with something different every day takes courage and great will, and you did it. When things are rough, I hope you have shoulders to lean on. I hope you still do the things you love even though it must be hard to pick them up again.
Remember the times that I doubt whether I will live past middle age? Prove me wrong please. The doubts and things that I use to bind myself with, I think you could get rid of them because I have faith in you. You have the will to do it, but there is just nothing to ignite it with. I hope you are surrounded by people that treasure you and you would not feel lonely anymore. Maybe those melancholic poetries and songs that you wrote will end up being pieces of your memory, rather than the reality.
I hope you are healthier now, physically, and mentally. I know that you are much wiser now, so you probably know what to do. Do not worry about it too much. Sounds cliché but that is what we have done for years now. Live. Keep living and going on the paths that we chose with no regrets. Create the memories that you always wanted. Write more, sing more, work more, love more, and live more. If you are strained by life, a vacation will not hurt, right? I hope you are taking good care of yourself now. You’ve worked hard.
Agnes Anak Gawing (68919)
Hello Agnes Anak Gawing in 40s!
How are you now? Did you remember about this letter, nes? How about your life’s journey? Did you get your partner life that inspire your life in this age? Are you a having a healthy family relationship with you children and also your husband? How about your parent and you pretty siblings? Did you already make them proud of you with your career and goals to be a counsellor? As a motto when you was at young adulthood, ‘Do as long as you can!’, I don’t know how far your abilities whether you are already become a successful women in your age now or you are still try to chase your dream?
But, I hope you are doing great in your age now and can get out from the challenges that you have been through. May be you can be the best version for yourself and are able to become positive in every situation. Yes, you may feel tired or exhausted with the journey you have been face and the environment that may be almost influence your motto. Just remember that it is normal when you will have days when when you don’t feel beautiful, days when you feel weak, days when you feel low. But, that days do not define who you are now. So, now just focus on your target to make life become more great.
At this time, I think you will be more assertive on what you are going to do next, self-confident about your life and achievement-oriented. This is because at your age now you already matured enough to handle the situation that will come and affect your life and can see a surge in positive emotions. You have been through the challenges and hopefully you are satisfy with the result of your version now. Based on Ryff’s Dimensions of Well-Being, you have to continue to self-acceptance always no matter what you are doing now other than make a positive relations with others in your middle adulthood now so that your personality growth did not influenced by negative emotions. I know sometimes you may give up with the surrounding around you, but you must keep going with your motto when you was young adult ‘Do as long as you can!’ so that you can always be a positive person of yourself and can create more sweetest memories with the time you spend together with your family now other than always be healthy. Well done and all the best Agnes, you can be the best of yourself!
Regards,
Agnes Anak Gawing in 20s
Marshall Steve Jomi (70311)
Hello Marshall Steve in 40s!
I know you are doing great, right? I just wishing that you still remember this letter that I wrote in the past. I just hoping that you as myself at the future become a good man, a good son, good husband to your wife and a good father? I literally have no idea how you will be at the future but I have the guts that you can get out from those setbacks to achieve whatever you want to achieve. I know that life is not easy as we think, but I know that you are capable to overcome any obstacles that may come into your life. But one thing for sure, I know you are the guy who have the best motivation in the world that I ever know. Stay with who you are because no one ever know you better than you and me.
Furthermore, I know that myself sometimes a workaholic person and sometimes forget about jobs. Here are some advice to the future self, no matter how important a job is just remember that in the last of your days at your work place, you can be replace by new people. But at your home, your family, there is no one that can replace you in their heart. So put your family first on the line. Sometimes, I know that me myself can’t handle things alone and often driven by the negative emotion when cornered by the situation. So I suggest that take your time to breath, reward yourself or try to make yourself happy in order to let out all the tiredness that you have.
For my last wish for you, I hope you always take care of your mental health. I know that you cannot cooperate with your anxiety, insomnia and tend to be depressed with your life. So in the future I hope that you can find someone that can help you overcome this mental illness. As psychology degree holder, I know that you have been taught ways and on how to overcome such illness but I know as a human being we cannot run from such things. don’t try pushing yourself further okay. I know your limits. Lastly, I wish you all the best in your life, make your family proud of you and God bless your life.
Regards,
Marshall Steve in 20s
Donna Torney (69516)
Hello, older and wiser Donna.
I’m writing to you as a 22 year old who is struggling to cope with life. How are you doing? I hope you’re healthy and taking care of yourself, with or without a partner by your side. I hope you are in an environment where you feel loved and appreciated, and doing the things you want without the burden of having to please others. Are you still on your quest to build the bridge between our realities and ideals, or have you find better things to do than care about meeting those ideals? Whatever it is you do, I will always be proud of you.
At 22, I’m hoping that by 50 years old I have achieved financial independence. I hope you have assets that can help generations to come with the passive income that you make. I hope you are not being too frugal with wherever you are financially, but I also hope you are living a sustainable life. You should have your own house by now, and you should have built our parent a home at our orchard. If that isn’t the case, then I hope you can be content with whatever it is you’re trying to achieve or have not achieved at this moment in your life. Bottom line is you’ve probably tried your hardest, as we have done throughout our lifetime.
Are you helping a lot of people? Are you still so occupied with your own thoughts that it is hard to see other people? I hope you know it is okay to get help when you need it because you are also important. It’s not selfish. Are you a psychologist, or have you opened that business that you have always wanted to do? Right now, I am currently planning to open a small business, but I don’t know if I will go through with it. However, I have always thought that I would be really successful when I get older. I hope you are successful, whatever that means to you.
Are you still afraid of people? Do you still find yourself feeling tired of putting a show; not feeling like you are genuinely being you (whoever that is, because I still don’t know) when interacting with others? Have you found solace in being alone, or are you still frustrated with how disconnected you feel from other? I can’t say much; because I honestly cannot see how you’ll be by the time you’re in your late adulthood. I truly hope this isn’t the case. However, I know you’re trying. You tried, and that is all that matters. You might feel it is not enough, but you should be wiser now, right?
If you’re reading this, then you should be alive and well, right? We never thought we would make it past 15, or 22 even. Thank you for staying strong. Thank you for giving us a chance.
Love,
Donna.
KMF1043 Human Development Psychology Group 3 